The Phantom Brick
by LegoMink
Summary: These are the Star Wars adventures-my version. Same plot, basically, except I've tried my best to make it funny. As you might guess, I'm going to have real fun writing these! I hope you like reading them! This is 'The Phantom Brick' End Chapter up!
1. Negotiations

Note: Ok, thought this might fit in with the 'Star Wars' column, since I didn't see a LEGO Star Wars column. So, I thought I'd better just write it anyway! The reader could just think of it as LEGO! Not saying you have to, just think that was what I had in mind. P.S. I'm basing this of what I saw in LEGO Star Wars.

LEGO Disclaimer: No characters in here have my face. Or are owned by me.

LegoMink Story Writing writes...

LegoMink's version of The Phantom Menace!

(Threw In LEGO Star Wars jokes for funsies!)

Chapter 1 _"I thought you'd never ask..."(aka Negotiations) The Trade Federation Ship_

" Preparing to land!" Apparently, two Royal Guards were going to lazily land in a droid-infested landing zone.

" Umm...it doesn't look safe, Bill!" warned RG No.1.

" What do you mean?Of course it's-" Before you knew it, the Droid's blasted their ship! The ship- boom. The men, dead. Why would you ask? It's obvious...

Meanwhile...

" Where in Naboo is that viceroy?" grumbled Obi-Wan.

" In case you hadn't noticed, THE ROOM IS FILLING WITH POISON GAS!" screamed Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan's master.

" Should we get out then?" asked Obi-Wan.

" I thought you'd never ask!" replied Qui-Gon.

The two Jedi ran for the conveniently-placed door at the end of the room. Even though they're LEGO, they still can't live in, in Qui-Gon terms, POISON GAS!

" Phew! We're-(droids appearing) safe..." muttered Obi-Wan.

" Looks like battle..." replied Qui-Gon.

" What gave you a hint?" sarcastically said Obi-Wan.

" Well the-"

" It was sarcasm, you idiot! I was being sarcastic!" shouted an annoyed Obi-Wan.

" Umm..do you mind, dying?" asked a droid.

" Oh for the love of Yoda, who asks that? I mean, it's wrong!" commented Qui-Gon.

" I think we should fight... they are waiting politely, and we wouldn't want to keep Death waiting. I vote we kill them!" explained Obi-Wan.

" I suppose you're right..." agreed Qui-Gon.

A big fight raged on. For about...30 seconds. Well, they didn't want to keep Death waiting.

And did you have a better solution?

They eventually reached a point which required at least SOME thought. Hint on who the droids are: shield. That's all you need.

Guess before you read this.

The destroyer droids, or 'Droidekas' were quite a challenge. But they eventually did it. Eventually.

After several more hours of killing, they got to the ship they were taking. Qui-Gon showed his ship pass, then they boarded, Obi-Wan obviously acting like a lunatic.

" You're a looney..." moaned Qui-Gon.

Chapter 1 Ends Here...


	2. Escape From Naboo

Chapter 2 _"Do we have to take the long way?"_A.K.A Escape From Naboo

" Umm...sorry to interrupt, Your Highness, but it appears we are under attack. Plan?" worried Captain Panaka.

" No need to worry, we'll go to the Royal Star Cruiser." replied Queen Amidala.

" Do we have to take the long way?" asked Panaka.

" If we are ever to get out, we need to take the long way, Captain." answered Amidala.

" Yes, Your Highness. I'll get guards right away to hold them off." suggested Panaka.

" If you'd shut up, Captain, you'd here them coming. But you talk and talk and talk and talk and talk!" moaned Amidala.

As they were running out, about 67 droids appeared in front of them. Or maybe it was 9. I can't remember it.

Luckily they had blasters. Lucky 'cause the droids had them too. That's got to be lucky. Especially since the droids are firing them right now. It was also lucky that the Panaka didn't talk. Because it distracts. Highly.

" Alright, that's the last of them. I think." panted Panaka.

" Don't get too confident. There's like, 10000000000000000000 droids here on Naboo.

Plus the tiny extra of 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 for back-up." replied Amidala.

" You scare me now." said a shocked Panaka.

Eventually, after killing what felt like the 100000000000 droids Amidala spoke of, the ran into the two idiots- I mean, Jedi.

" Qui-Gon, who are those two jerks running up to meet us?" asked Obi-Wan.

" Apparently, the 'jerk' on the left is Captain Panaka, while the 'jerk' on the right is Queen Amdala. She's far from an idiot." explained Qui-Gon.

" Oh, humble Jedi, help us in our-"

" Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, lady, we came out of the water to get here. Now my Jedi cape need to dry out, all because of Jar Jar Binks!" shouted Obi-Wan.

" Look here, jedi, you will address me as Your Highness!Or I will kill you!" threatened Amidala.

" Whoa, you should go on Star Wars that isn't LEGO," suggested Obi-Wan. " I'd tell you where the station was, BUT YOU'RE STRANGLING ME!" moaned Obi-Wan.

" So it's true that this guy's total idiot. I have one too. There he is, right behind me." Amidala pointed to Panaka. Obi-Wan walked to him, then started poking him.

" Wow, the black guy's flexible." joked Obi-Wan.

" You know that there is still a few million droids looking for us." said Qui-Gon.

" Oh, right. The war. I forgot about it. That guy looks red now." joked Obi-Wan again.

" Let's just get to the point. We need to get to the Royal Star Cruiser." stated Panaka.

" We can get you there." said Qui-Gon.

" Yeah. With our big lightsabers." added Obi-Wan.

" Ok then. Let's get to the ship, fly out of Naboo, and go anywhere." said Amidala.

" That's just what I was going to say." replied Panaka.

Later...

" There's the ship!" pointed out Panaka.

" Let's get out of here!" shouted Obi-Wan.

Chapter 2 Ends Here.


	3. Mos Espa Podrace

Chapter 3 _" What do you mean,'silver lining'?" _A.K.A Mos Espa Podrace

" We're nearly there." said Panaka.

" Where?" asked Padme, Amidala's 'handmaiden'.

" Tatooine." replied Panaka.

" Tatooine?" repeated Padme.

" That's where we were... oh my good god, WE'RE IN THE RED! The red is evil! THE RED IS EVIL!!" Panaka was going crazy. 1) They were nearly out of fuel, and 2) Because their engine had broke. Obi-Wan was trying to fix it, which involved lots of swearing and a wrench. Eventually, he made it worse. Much worse.

" Umm...Obi-Wan, stay and make sure Panaka doesn't go into psycho mode. He gets quite annoying when he's like that. And don't call him Black Guy again! Got that!?" asked Padme.

" Oh I won't," said Obi-Wan. The door closed. " Here, little black guy. Stay. Good black guy." joked Obi-Wan.

" I mean it!" cried Padme from outside.

" How'd she hear me?" thought Obi-Wan.

" We need another engine, flying thing." said Qui-Gon. He was with Padme and Jar Jar, a thing they met in the Naboo swamps. Jar Jar could be quite annoying, to Obi-Wan. To Qui-Gon, all he wanted to do was break his stuff. It was quite annoying to everyone except Panaka. He was too busy in psycho mode.

" That will be 500." said Flying thing. " And my name's Watto."

" Republic Credits?" asked Qui-Gon.

" Republic Credits? What the hell are Republic Credits? Get out!" ordered Watto.

" Hey, you. Old guy. Cheer up." said a child.

" Who the hell are you? "asked Qui-Gon.

" I'm Anakin Skywalker, the bravest kid in the world." bragged Anakin. " Anyway, there's a Podrace where the reward is 500 of what Watto means. And I can race in it."

" You can't. You're only a boy. No human has a podracer. Not now, not ever. Well, some do. But they die." explained Qui-Gon with a stubborn look on his face.

" Not me. I'll enter with no problem whatsoever!" said Anakin.

" Shouldn't we give him a chance? He seems like a smart kid to me." suggested Padme.

" But look at how they race in these podraces. Like rough buffoons." argued Qui-Gon.

" So?!" snapped Padme.

" Alright, you win." sighed Qui-Gon.

" I'll show you my podracer!" said Anakin. " Come on!"

" Ok, black guy. While you're in psycho mode, I might as well have some fun. Fetch, black guy, fetch!" said Obi-Wan.

" You know that might be offensive." said Panaka.

" Fine, I'll call you Captain Black Guy!" joked Obi-Wan.

" That still might be offensive." repeated Panaka.

" Wait, you're talking. DAMNIT! I was just starting." moaned Obi-Wan.

" Should I still get that stick you threw?" asked Panaka.

" Please." sobbed Obi-Wan.

" Wow! Messa never seen thing like this before. Youssa must be brave to race thing." praised Jar Jar as they gazed at Anakin's podracer.

" Cool, innit? Innit?" asked Anakin.

" Impressive. I actually feel as if you should race this thing at the podrace tomorrow." said Qui-Gon.

" It's tomorrow? Ah, man!" moaned Anakin.

" You'll just have to wait." said Padme.

" Look at this, he's C-3PO." said Anakin to Padme. He was showing her his invention. C-3PO, he was called, and he had a somewhat friendly voice. I say somewhat, because Anakin said it had a deep voice at first, which scared Padme.

" I am C-3PO, helper droid. What may I assist you with today?" asked C-3PO.

" Cool." praised Padme.

" Anakin, get to your racer, the race is starting!" shouted Qui-Gon.

" Got it." replied Anakin.

" Hello and welcome to the podrace! I'm-"

" Just get to the point!"

" Oh, the crowd favourite is Sebulba! As always."

" The race is starting in 10 minutes!"

" remember, Anakin, every body has a silver lining." said Qui-Gon.

" What do you mean, 'silver lining'?" asked Anakin.

" Isn't it, every cloud has a silver lining?" asked Padme.

" ...shut up." said Qui-Gon.

" ...3, 2, 1! They're off! Well, everyone except Skywalker. He's been halted by a problem!"

" Now he's started! But will he ever catch up? Find out!"

Down at the race...

1st lap...

" Anakin, speed, speed speed, SPEED!" thought Anakin.

" I have to win. HAVE TO! I need to help old guy. What was his name? Qui-Gon, or something? Qui-Gon, definitely."

" Eat this, loser!" cried Sebulba from his podracer.

" Hey, cheater...you-"

Oh my god! He just killed Kenny! Am I gonna end up like that? No.

2nd lap...

Ok, Sebulba taken out Kenny, Steve and Gary. But he is NOT gonna get me! Focus, Anakin, focus! There's Sebulba, 1st place. I'm in 3rd. That guy in 2nd is separating us. I might as well just crash into him. There he goes...bye bye!

3rd lap...

Final lap. Gotta focus. There's Sebulba!

Near Finish line...

Come on, come on, COME ON! Faster! I'm gonna lose...I've overtaken him! I've won!

" Well done!" praised Qui-Gon.

" You back so soon?" asked Obi-Wan.

" We got the engine." replied Padme.

" Oh. Me and Panaka watched the podrace. I want to congratulate Anakin. Where is he? Hello." greeted Obi-Wan.

" Who's that outside?" asked Panaka.

" Darth Maul. You go. I'll hold him off." said Qui-Gon. He went outside for a duel with Maul.

Chapter 3 Ends Here.


	4. Retake Theed Palace

And of course, to go where no man has gone before.

Chapter 4 "_Do we have to?" _A.K.A Retake Theed Palace

Qui-Gon had managed to get in the ship before it took off, which was what he wanted to happen.

" Are you alright?" asked Anakin after he got back in.

" If you call having a head wound alright, yes." replied Qui-Gon.

" Oh. Okay." said Anakin.

" We have to go back to Naboo." said Padme.

" Do we have to?" asked Obi-Wan.

" Yes!" replied Padme.

" Is it okay if I bring R2-D2 with us? I made him too. I think..." asked Anakin.

" Yes. He maybe useful." answered Padme.

" Alright! Come on, R2." said Anakin.

" We we weee! Woo!" said R2.

" Setting course for Naboo." said Panaka. They set off, to 'Retake Theed Palace'.

" We're here." said Panaka.

" Alright." replied Obi-Wan.

They came out of the ship. Obi-Wan got his lightsaber out, so did Qui-Gon. Padme and Panaka started blasting, while R2 and Anakin hid until it was over. There was a lot of parts falling in Anakin's direction, so he picked them up, and kept them in a bag he brought. " I could use these the finish of C-3PO. Oh wait, he's not a battle droid, is he? Oh well, I'll keep them anyway." he thought.

" Hold your fire!" commanded Panaka.

" Or blocking..." moaned Obi-Wan. They stepped forward to make sure everything was dead. Or destroyed.

" They're all toast!" announced Panaka.

" Gotcha!" replied Anakin.

" You two guards, stay and cover our backs." ordered Panaka.

" Yes sir!" replied the Guards.

The party went on forward, until they were halted by a pack of droids. With 4 Droidekas!

" We'll deal with the Droid scum. You go on ahead. We'll meet up later. Go!" commanded Obi-Wan. " Look over here, idiotic droids! Look, this droid has a photo of it's mum! It's like a big-oww!"

" Be more careful, Idiot-Wan- I mean Obi-Wan." joked Qui-Gon.

" What did you call me? Idiot-Wan?" asked Obi-Wan angrily.

" Never mind that, the droids still exist!" pointed out Qui-Gon.

" Death has to wait again. What a shame. Especially since he could kill me at any time. ANY time." repeated Obi-Wan. They fought the droids like small characters would. Punching them until they blew up. How amateurish.

" Owww...my fists hurt! Oww!" moaned Obi-Wan.

" Oh shut up!" replied Qui-Gon. They went the way the others did, and eventually caught up with them. In the middle of a blaster duel.

" Oh great. More droids. More interference with our mission." said Obi-Wan.

" Why? Oh right." Panaka suddenly realised that they had stopped to fight droids in the first place. He muttered something that sounded like ' I'm so stupid!' or 'I wish I had a pie'. Both truly remarkable.

" Hurry up and die!" shouted Obi-Wan.

" Patience, Obi-Wan, patience. They might not want to die yet." said Qui-Gon.

" Who does?" added Padme.

" Nobody!" answered Anakin.

" Woo! Weee!" added R2.

" R2, open that door!" commanded Anakin.

" (programming in process) Wii!"

" Good droid." praised Obi-Wan.

They went on into the palace. They encountered resistance, but they got through eventually.

" Woo yeah!" celebrated Panaka.

" What?" asked Padme.

" I killed a Droideka!" replied Panaka.

" Who's that guy? Maul again!" said Anakin.

" Get away from the trouble, you two. Panaka and Padme will go on with us." said Qui-Gon.

" Alright, Qui-Gon. Come on, R2." said Anakin.

" Now..."

Chapter 4 Ends Here.


	5. Darth Maul

Chapter 5 _"Hey, who's the hooded jerk?"_A.K.A Darth Maul

" Come on, before Naboo blows up due to boredom!" said Qui-Gon.

A figure opened a door, then walked forward. Or limped.

" Hey, who's the hooded jerk?" asked Obi-Wan.

" That hooded jerk is Darth Mall- sorry, Darth _**Maul!**_" corrected Qui-Gon Jinn.

" Oh right." replied Obi-Wan Kenobi.

" I am the Sith Lord, Maul!" announced Mall-I'm doing it now!

" Yeah, we just said that..." pointed out Obi-Wan.

" Who cares?" replied Darth Maul.

" Look, this would be a lot quicker if you would just die, ok? 'Cause Scrubs is on, and I don't want to miss it." explained Panaka.

" So just kill yourself!" added Padme.

" We'll handle this, ladies." said Obi-Wan. " We aren't getting any younger, but we get older."

" Hey!" shouted an insulted Panaka.

The two Jedi drew their lightsabers and ran for Maul, but he pushed them back. Eventually they chased him to a room we Maul got across, then made a huge gap in between him and the Jedi.

" Echo!" joked Obi-Wan.

" My droid brethren, come!" ordered Maul.

" You're a droid?" asked Obi-Wan.

" You'll get it- eventually." stated Qui-Gon.

The two Jedi forced back Maul's object's that he through at them, then he ran to another room.

" YODA DAMNIT!" yelled Obi-Wan.

"_...damnit, damnit, mnit, it...damnit..." _repeated the echo.

" Shut up!" answered Obi-Wan.

"_...up, up, up..." _replied the echo.

" Do'h!" cried Obi-Wan.

" This room is 2D. Great." commented Qui-Go as they entered what seemed like a place for sprites, because there was a lot of jumping involved in the process. But they caught up to him.

In the next room, they had to press 2 buttons, while droids blasted at them.

" Ooh! Oh! Ow! Stop blasting at me! Die! You die now!" threatened Obi-Wan.

" Um...I'm waiting." persisted Qui-Gon.

" Fine!" said Obi-Wan eventually.

They stood on the 2 buttons and went after Maul again.

" Could we kill you? Guy who keeps running away from us?" asked Obi-Wan.

They pulled what felt like levers and got to the end. But Obi-Wan got cut off by a laser door, and had to watch Qui-Gon fight Maul alone. He did well, but eventually Darth Maul wounded him.

" NOO!!" cried Obi-Wan. He opened the laser door, and ran to kill Maul, but he hit him down a hole. Obi-Wan grabbed onto a metal bar. He was going to fall, but then he grabbed Qui-Gon's lightsaber, jumped back up and sliced Maul in half.

" Are you ok, Master?" asked Obi-Wan.

"_Train Anakin in the ways of the Force...I sensed great strength in him." _He then died...

"NO!" cried Obi-Wan again. " We were going to watch T.V. And drink beer all night! WHY?!"

Epilogue _"And then he died..."_ A.K.A The End...

" Wohoo! Messa celebrate!" celebrated Jar Jar.

" I miss Qui-Gon." muttered Obi-Wan.

" I miss him too, Obi-Wan." replied Padme.

" Why's youssa all sad?" asked Jar Jar.

" Qui-Gon battled Maul...on his own because I got cut off. And then he died." explained Obi-Wan.

" Oh..." said Jar Jar.

" Oh!" mocked Obi-Wan.

(cue Star Wars theme music)

Credits

LegoMink...Director

Dragonmaster77...Co-Director

...Publisher

SpaceCruiserStarr7833...Reviews

Thanks for reading!

Well, read and review please. Episode 2 coming soon to LegoMink T.V.!


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